Monday, June 29, 2015

Diet Akrasia



I’ve been really struggling with my diet lately. Well, no. That’s not exactly true. Saying I’m “struggling” would suggest I’m putting up a fight, but lately it seems I’ve been surrendering the moment a craving for junk food hits. I suppose it would be more accurate to say I’m struggling to muster the strength to even try to struggle. The nearly 40 lbs I’ve gained in the past couple of months indicates that I’m clearly not struggling hard enough.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Confusing the Milestone for the Finish Line: The 100 Lb Barrier

How I feel trying to get under 280 lbs

There are certainly worse things than plateaus when dieting. Like putting all the weight back on, for example (I am a seasoned expert in that regard). But plateaus can be extremely disheartening. I’ve been stuck at roughly the 100 lbs lost mark for the past few months. I still have at least 65 lbs to go. I don’t know that I can honestly call it a plateau, however, because to me a plateau is when I’m doing everything right and the weight still won’t come off. And I most definitely have not been doing everything right lately.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Phantom Fat and Lies My Mirror Tells Me

Last week I shared something of a love letter I wrote to my body thanking it for everything it has allowed me to do, and I remain unspeakably grateful for the life it has allowed me to live. But I still struggle—deeply—with how my body looks.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

I Sing the Body Dyspeptic: A Letter to My Body

As I mentioned in passing in my previous post about binge eating, I have sought counseling over the years for my struggles with weight. One therapist I met emphasized the need to be more self-accepting and the importance of practicing body kindness, both of which were new concepts to me. 

I resisted at first. It seemed completely counter-intuitive and counterproductive to be accepting of something I wanted to change. To me, acceptance would indicate approval, and how could I possibly approve of a body that is so socially and medically stigmatized?

Monday, February 2, 2015

One Binge to Rule Them All

Late one Friday night over the holidays I proudly reported on my Facebook wall that I had successfully overcome an urge to binge that had been gnawing at me the entire day. A thin, genuinely supportive friend of mine sympathetically chimed in, “I binged for you. I ate six chocolate chip cookies.” I chuckled when I first read his comment, but then I stopped and thought about it for a moment, and my amusement quickly turned to genuine confusion. Six cookies? That’s it? Does he really think eating six cookies constitutes a binge?

Monday, January 26, 2015

The Fattest Gringo They Ever Did See

In the summer of 2004, I spent a month or so living in the village of Jocot├ín, Guatemala as I was learning to speak Ch’orti’ Mayan, the closest living language related to the ancient Mayan hieroglyphic writing system (which informs much of my research). I arranged for a local native Ch’orti’ speaker named Hipolito to come to my hotel each day to teach me vocabulary, basic grammar, and the like. 

Sunday, January 25, 2015